|This kid had SO much fun. Alldredge Farms was beyond worth the $3 entry fee. What a day, we had.|
Ladies and gentleman, please...may I have your attention?
Ebenezer Kristen has left the building.
|Does this mum make my butt look big? 😂😂😂. I'm sorry. I couldn't resist. This mum is OFF THE CHAIN. It has already brought me so much joy!|
Man, it felt good to have a whole weekend where I didn't feel exhausted, angry, stressed and depressed all in the same time. We even had a whole 2 days off together. We took the kids to the Pumpkin Patch, AND I actually let them spend a dollar or two.
I don't know what, exactly, has been "wrong" with me lately, except for a culmination of unfortunate events that occurred in too close a succession for me to successfully and quickly bounce back.
|Jesse has a new "thing." Also, he likes to hop the fence at the dog park now. Only if one of us leaves, so...at least he is loyal. That is just my type.|
First of all, I was NOT mentally ready to go back to work. I didn't get a vacation or anything this year, but I had seriously enjoyed being home. I enjoyed my garden work and the product of the harvest. I enjoyed that my kids are older now...no one is in all out rebellion and no one is in tantrum/needy stage. I had a lot more freedom, and I liked it. Schools weren't in session, so I got to do some of my favorite work: lesson planning, organizing and professional development. Quiet, activities of the mind are where my heart resides.
And then, boom...it was all speeding toward me, and I was already having a bad attitude and then...
|I wish I could share a picture of the little 2-3 yo girl who joined in by grabbing Dillon's leg and trying, with all her might, to wrestle him to the ground. My kind of girl!! 💕|
Dillon crashed, and you KNOW that whole traumatic experience!! And then...
Just days after, while I was still in mama trauma mode, my boss surprised us with a retirement announcement.
So, basically, the ONLY reason I ever agreed to continue to participate...
|Yeah, so...she caught a chicken. Surprised? I am not.|
If you know me at ALL, you know I happen to have VERY BIG emotions. (Do not call me over-dramatic. That's mean. And insensitive...you do not live in this ocean of feelings with me, so you can not possibly judge.).
But, if you REALLY know me, you know that I do not work for just anyone. I have, literally, had 2 bosses in my "career." That was on purpose. I chose them with the greatest care.
But, if you REALLY, REALLY know me, you know that I HATE surprises (and change...unless I instigate it).
I have said many, many times, I allow 3 authorities over me: 1) God 2) Matt 3) Bob
|Unenthusiastic picker ended up having a lot of fun!|
So, here I was, on the verge. of returning to work, when I really didn't want to return to work, and now I had an even bigger reason to not want to work, because, basically, my whole work life was up in the air. (FYI...I STILL don't know who is going to be "in charge" of me, and that happens to be a VERY SCARY situation for yours truly.)
Anyway...in the midst of all of that intense trauma, I got a very scamming response from a people and an institution I should have been able to trust. (I can't go into detail, and that is also, still up in the air. So uncomfortable for me!! But I am totally kicking it, ultimately, trusting God.)
|So, the hay ride didn't exactly lead out to a pumpkin patch. I mean, it circled us back to it, so that is kind of the same, right? Also...we had the whole ride to ourselves. It was truly a blessed day, my friends.|
And, also, our little party-wagon, now Eden's car, broke down from a faulty part common to the model. But the really cool part is, we managed to successfully drive it to the dealer...who told us it is still in warranty!! Unfortunately, we might never get the part, because #covidshortages.
Seriously, it has been there for like 2 months with no word on anything. And I called another dealer to double check, "I just wanted to see if you are experiencing the same thing, or if you happen to have the part."
"Ma'am...the whole world is experiencing the same thing."
|I'm not saying she is a bad driver. She is just better at helping her brother.|
I couldn't have phrased it better myself.
I am thankful we have the 2005 "beater" Explorer and that Xander works from here, so I can use it...because Eden really NEEDS to drive my brand new EcoSport, and I just don't have time to argue you about my very valid reasoning.
So, I decided to do something about all this frustrating uncertainty that was driving me so mad. I called Overhead Door.
|This crew. 💕💕 I am so glad I got back my ability to appreciate and enjoy. 🙌|
Yes...I forgot to mention that, in the midst of all of this, our outdated garage door opener system finally bit the dust. I realize I am both 1) fortunate to have a garage and 2) ridiculously blessed to have a mechanical system that opens the door to this beloved safe-haven. And, since I did decide to go ahead and continue working, I have additional funds to replace the old with a new, working model.
I made the phone call on my own, without even asking my "supervisor." (He thanked me later.)
In the end, I'm not exactly sure what snapped me out of Scroogism, except that I needed time to let things settle in my brain and my heart.
|What can I say? Mateo 2021|
I had a talk about stress that completely convinced me to STOP accepting it. It's not a big deal. None of it.
I withdrew for awhile. (I have to process things on my own. There are some emotions so heavy I can't even allow Matt in while I cope.). I ranted. I stormed. I pouted like a child. Then, I put on my big girl pants and decided that everything was going to be okay, one way or the other.
When I feel overwhelmed and overworked, even then I have a choice. I can refuse to accept stress and, maybe even, give myself a break from this overwhelming "over-doing-it" nature I possess.
|And hopefully for many more years to come.|
I didn't, exactly, start today.
I went ALL in with getting this house in order for the week. Because, sometimes, a clean and ordered house is exactly what I need. I had the time and the energy, so I pushed through like a Marvel hero, defeating the enemy that is...filth.
I even mopped the floors. So, yeah, basically, I COMPLETELY cleansed myself of all this unrighteousness that has been slapping me around lately. And I feel like I am the victor.
Not a bad way to end one and start the next. I hope you are having an up-day, too. I can definitely offer empathy, if not. I have had my moments on the beach and in the desert, and I am still learning to function through these ups and downs we call "life." I consider myself a life-long learner. 😉 How about you?
|Is it just me, or are they getting really big?!!|
Blessings in the week ahead! I hope you have at least one person in that inner circle to hold you through it all. 💞