Friday was a good day. The sun was shining. I was knocking out problems and finding my way around road blocks like a boss. So, all in all, kicking you know good and well what.
All the nice people were out, waiting their turns, waving me ahead of them, smiling.
And I was like, "Everything's going my way!!!" 🎶
Its funny how all the nice people come out when I'm in a good mood, and all the idiots and (well, you know...) show up when I'm cranky. What a coincidence!
On the cusp of a few really tough weeks, and my natural bent toward complete and utter dissatisfaction with life, it was NICE to have a good day.
Upon reflection, I had a few, wise revelations:
1) I was reading Lamentations in my daily OT time, and...man their world's about to stink, like Royal Stench-stink. I couldn't help but compare, as I sat in my big comfortable bed, looking out over my luscious garden, and thinking of the army I could feed just out of my pantry, and all my whinies started to dissipate.
Good grief! I have got it made. Only a fool would complain. (Did I ever tell you about my uncanny resemblance to the Israelites?)
It's a lesson in contentment. Like genuine love, contentment is more of an action than a feeling. You make a choice to commit to it, and you refuse to breach that vow...no matter how hard. It's a foreign concept in our current world, I know, but still a very valuable skill...and the root of an incredibly happy life.
So, Lamentations reminded me of the gratitude for all I have. And, then...
2) Two completely different people gave me completely different books. As it turns out, BOTH books are about spiritually-sensitively listening to the dissatisfaction in your life to produce positive change. And they both tell me to beware becoming comfortable. So...I am all ears!! (Well, eyes and heart and mind, and ears.)
3) I always have to keep in mind that I tend to become a little restless in the spring. It's as predictable as the fact that I stink at mornings. Always have. Probably always will. Some things I just can't shake.
As for this year, I have officially met my quota on mornings. I barely managed to get my boys to (yet ANOTHER...loud, eye-rolling sigh) morning baseball game (on my own, of course...stupid, needy hospital) this weekend. I was, literally, backing the car out of the garage when I happened to look back and notice Evan was not in it. When I texted Matt about my near tragedy, he replied (along with suggesting plenty of caffeine), "You got this...hopefully."
Thanks for the confidence, dear. 🤣
I just can't be offended when the truth is so glaringly obvious.
Anyway, it's just going to get worse and worse from here, until I have a very extended break from mornings. (Coming soon to a #KristenShanna near you!)
And, by the way, what is up with May, anyway? First of all, who decided we needed to cram about a million different events in one month? Secondly, I can tell you, for sure, the person who chose May for Mother's Day was not a mom. 'I know...let's give her a holiday right in the middle of end-of-school celebrations, baseball season and GRADUATION...when she couldn't possibly really enjoy it. That'll show her."
I was reading one of Brene Brown's wonderful books, and she was talking about one of the most stressful weekends she'd experienced, which was on Mother's Day...and while this was not at all her point and connection, I thought, "Am I right???!! Preach it, sister!"
No wonder I've been experiencing a little discontent. Sheesh! I'm exhausted! (I slept until 10:45 today...thank you Jesus!!...kids, and Jesse.)
But anyway...let's just get one thing straight, right off the bat. I am going to mess this up. I am going to disappoint you...whether I forget your invitation or forget to show up or forget to even respond in the first place (or because I am potentially incapacitated with the increasingly modern technology). So, if and when I offend you, please keep it mind it is most likely NOT my intent (unless it is playfully, and then you will know!). Give me the benefit of assuming mistake or incompetence on my part. (And I promise you, I will reciprocate the same grace.) Acknowledging my incompetence and error are menial, but the thought of anyone believing I lack in care or compassion...that's killer.
And if I have your grace and empathy, your kindness, your care and concern...I think maybe...just maybe...I can keep on keeping on in this world.
And isn't that what we are all trying to do? All of us out here just trying to survive, and NOT mess this up? You. Me...and Jesse.
Oh Jesse. Over here living his best life. Jesse's out there making all KINDS of new friends, like Winnie and Beau and River. As long as he gets a little fun playtime with his buds...Jesse tends to be a pretty good dog.
Jesse needs his friends. So do I. And I think we ALL need a little more love and grace.
Hasta Mañana, my friends! (Well...next week, anyway.). Peace, love and chives!