You Have Arrived

It was my first day back with students today, and I am finally remembering why it is I love my job so much.  It's been a long summer.  Not that I don't appreciate getting organized, researching lessons,   planning, meeting up with co-workers, long walks in the gardenπŸ˜‰, conferencing and travelling, but...I definitely prefer the direct work with students.  And that is the part that makes me say so frequently, "I love my job!"

Of course, please don't presume a Fakebook world of perfectness.  Every day is not the best.  I have just improved my ability over time to be content.  (Thank you, Paul!πŸ’•)  And I have been blessed to enjoy the overall work that I do.  Of course, if I focused on it, the grass could always be greener somewhere else.  But...I found when I lived like that, always longing and desiring, pining away for the something else, I was never fulfilled.  When I got what I thought I wanted, I didn't really want it that much anymore.

Just today, I was walking into the school.  It was beautiful!  Lovely breeze, cool temps, sunshine and blue skies.  ( proceeded to sky-rocket to hot and humid...but for the moment, it was so appealing).  I remembered a day last Spring that I was heading into a school.  I saw the lawn maintenance crew at work, and I felt a tinge of jealousy.  "I want to be outside mowing the lawn."  Of course, fast forward to this summer, and I was scoffing at that memory as I was 2.5 miles in to endless strips of overgrown grass.  Suddenly, I didn't want to be mowing the lawn anymore.  I laughed as I acknowledged the memories and felt a little gratitude (however brief) for the moment of beauty as I walked from my car to the school.

I never really know what to expect when I get to a school.  Every school is different.  And each individual school is often different from month to month.  I try to come prepared for whatever.  At this point in the year, I've just been stressing over trying to get every school on the board with new regulations and requirements causing a little hesitation.  (But by the grace of God, I've managed so far to fit in a couple I was really concerned about losing.  After all, I'm a 100% people pleasing, fully motivated to the max, over-achieving kind of girl.  I don't think I could settle for less.  But I promise, I will try not to expect the same of you!  The more grace I give myself, the more, I find, I can give others.)  I was just grateful to get past some of the anxiety of scheduling and actually work with kids, and it did NOT disappoint.  Seeing those precious faces, hearing success stories of previous students who attribute even a portion of that success to my presence in their lives.  And then, it was my girls' school.  (You guys!  I get to be in ALL of my kids' schools this year.  This is a far, rejoicing, cry from last year...where I felt forced to completely neglect them all.)

And Xander came down to see me 3 times in the 2 hours she is at her school (she is in an early college program off campus).  And I am so grateful that my almost 18-year-old is still so excited to see her mama in her school.  (I am one fortunate lady, for sure!  I do not take that for granted...even in the tough moments.)  But the best part was this little tap on the shoulder I got when I was waiting out front during the bell to hug my baby and her buddy.  I was a bit confused when I turned to the tapper.  It was not someone I expected.  But then I quickly realized my other baby girl's precious little friend had seen me in the office and made a point to come say hi, so πŸ’•.

And one student got his driver's permit, and he had been so uninterested, but I was adamant and kept encouraging/lecturing him about it and helped him study, and you should have seen the pride in his face when he showed me his permit!  #payday

And new student came back after our initial meeting, and he was all in a panic, and he had lost his backpack...but I am skilled in crisis management...and, for him, this was a crisis.  So, I stayed with him for the half hour it took to tour the school retracing his steps.  Of course, the backpack ended up in the exact room he was in...just hidden.  But I stayed with him until he found it, and I know in my heart that I helped him, and that is all.  that.  matters.

I'll tell you what.  I can spend 8 hours out in the garden engaged in heavily laborious tasks, and I am not nearly as exhausted as I am after a day spent working with kids...counseling or wears me out.  I literally come home and pass out, and my brain is like "zombie mode" for the duration of the evening.  I can hardly read, knit or post, and you KNOW that is saying something.  But the payday moments like πŸ‘†...or when I tapped on the window of the car behind me in the St. Pat's pickup line and, when the Mom figured out who I was said her son "thinks (I am) the greatest thing to happen to this school."  Then, my heart swells, and I know that I am doing exactly what I am supposed to be doing.  And I have somehow managed to carve out my little place in the employment world with jobs I can't believe really exist.  And I am so grateful that, even on the less "successful" days, I can say I am so fortunate to be exactly where I am.