Dysfunction Junction

Oh...MY...GOODNESS!  I wish I could tell you about my week.  I think it is one of the worst forms of discomfort for me...when I want to speak, and I can't.  You might even call it torturous, for someone like me.   I never have been one to hold my tongue well.  But...look at me!  So grown up!  I am learning so many new skills.

Of course, sometimes the motivation for not talking exceeds even my insanely, impulsive, desire to blurt my perspective on every situation I encounter.  I have so many thoughts on so many topics.  You may have moved on from our conversation yesterday, but 10 years from now, the PERFECT response just might come to my mind, and I will be bursting in my seat for want of sharing.

Fortunately for everyone, I am a mature, grown up now.  I am so gonna hold my tongue where ethics and morals are involved, but I will say this much.  I will never need Reality TV (not that I ever liked it, anyway), because I work and live and breath in Dysfunction Junction! And I have enough stories to keep me for the rest of my life.  😱

Now, for the things I CAN legally talk about...

So...I was really starting to panic about Halloween, because I FOR REAL took my boys to the Spirit store on the ONLY day I knew I would have available to purchase costumes in a store, and that was all of about August 29th.  I was sooooo proud of me.  On.  My.  Game!  Of course, Spirit Halloween store is completely discombobulated, and the manager is like 12, and they didn't have the only costume that would make me enter such an intensely irritating place in stock yet.  (Because, to my SEVERE misfortune, they have the market on Fortnite this year.  I call it a monopoly.  Exaggerated eye roll.  Huge sigh.)

Well, being the above average intelligence kind of mom that I am, I went straight home (a week later) and ordered that puppy online, to be delivered to my door.  Yep.  I take the cake on mad mom skills, pretty much.

Unfortunately, I forgot about it for approximately a month.  Well, let's say I put my trust in the company to fulfill that Oct. 5th deadline.  But...to my exasperated chagrin...I suddenly found myself working 8am-8pm, 5 days a week with absolutely NO TIME TO SPARE (don't even get me started on my weekend-catch-up-on-the-house-chores workload!), and the deadline had come and gone...and Halloween was closing in like an overly, handsy old man.  Too close.  Too soon.

So, I found myself racing around the house, putting on my minimalist make up, combing elementary school boy hair and simultaneously chatting with "Betsy" online, because Spirit Halloween store is not currently accepting calls.  (Another SIGNIFICANT eye roll.  Anyone care to guess WHY they might be avoiding me?!)  Betsy assured me that my order was "supposed" to ship on October 22, and "if that is too late" I can sure cancel it.

Yep.  Prets sure they were never gonna ship that order.  I am more than fairly certain.

But...that angering situation...through which I stayed remarkably calm, I might add...turned out to be an opportunity.  You know how I'm ALWAYS complaining about the difficulties of raising teens?  You know how I tend to get SUPER frustrated with my own?  Well, my misfortune, turned out to be her opportunity to shine, because that same kid who tends to cause me so many sleepless nights is the very same kid who drove all around town to find a Spirit store that had a Fortnite costume in stock to fit her little bro.  And it may not be Skull Trooper, but this kid is thrilled his big sis (who he totally idolizes) came through with Dark Voyager.  #heartmelt  #siblinglove  #PROUDMAMA!

And, oh...my...goodness, she could not have picked a better time to come through, because stuff hit the fan this week, and I got caught in the middle of some major drama (that I CAN NOT talk about...Dysfunction Junction...🎢🎡 ), and I have had to stay late just about every single day this week.  And I am so very, very weary.

I mean, ridiculously weary.  My brain is so overloaded that I am slipping in ways amazingly unlike me.  For example...I saw a kid this week for transition.  We had the nicest little meeting, and I entered his data in my notes and took him through the introductory interest inventory...and it wasn't until he left that I happened to check my notes from the month prior.  Same kid.  Same activity.  Twice in a row.  So...out there in the world, we have a kid who either 1) I made so little impact upon, he did not remember me or the activity one month later or 2) There is a super sweet kid out there, who was too kind to correct a crazy old lady who has obviously lost all of her marbles.  I still laugh every time I think about it.  And I am very seriously thinking about requesting to see him again next month and starting in on the same spiel, just to see if he will stop me.  πŸ˜‚ 

Obviously, I would not survive were it not for my weekends off.  Oh, I am so grateful for the weekends.  And not everyone would be grateful for the time they get to spend cleaning chicken poop.  (Especially after a solid week of rain.  Yuck!  TMI, you're welcome.)  And quite frankly, I'm not EXACTLY grateful for that, but what I have learned in my (what feels like a very, very long) 40 years of breathing air, is that someone has to be willing to clean the chicken coop.  And really, no one WANTS to be the one to do all the dirty work.  But someone HAS to do it.   And I have found that, if I humble myself to do the things that no one else wants to do (and I don't do it with expectations on the people, because I just do it for God and trust that He will reward my efforts in some way at some time, because I have found that to ALWAYS be true) eventually, in some way, I benefit.  Whether emotionally, physically or whatever.

Let me give an example.  When I first came to Synergy, there was a horrendous smell in the break room I had to enter to get pretty much everywhere I needed to go.  I had not contributed in ANY way to creating that smell.  But over a few days, I realized it was caused by basic neglect.  The sink was filthy, the walls were spotted with liquid spills.  And to the people's credit, I can understand.  Their jobs are overwhelming.  And Dysfunction Junction will suck the life out of you, if you let it.  People are so needy, after all.

Well, it wasn't necessarily my duty to come in and clean the kitchen.  And I knew that the real smell came from the refrigerator, which was stuffed with other people's food I did not want to take upon myself to throw out without asking.  But I knew I had time in those early days, and I wanted to give something of myself to lift the burdens of others.  I wanted to serve the people who are serving the people.  So, I did the best in my ability to clean the sink and the counter and a few dishes, and the wall.  It wasn't perfect, but it definitely made the space better.  And I got caught by about 50 people, and I pleaded with each of them, "Don't tell anyone it was me."  Because, then, my service becomes about reward - verbal acknowledgment - or it becomes a guilt trip to others, "You guys, the place is so nasty the intern couldn't stand it."  And I wanted my gift to be neither about me, or about making others feel guilty.

And it kind of became a burden and a guilt trip, anyway, because now they have a monthly cleaning schedule set up, and there are probably some people unhappy about that, but I will contribute every time I can...whether it is mine turn or not...because I always benefit from serving in the end.  And I will be so smiley and joyful, because I will only do it when my heart is full...and serving will make me feel even fuller...and people will come in and look at me like I am the strangest sight they have ever beheld (and, probably, I am...and that is OKAY!).  Because I will benefit from my service.  I know that I will.  And, even more, others will benefit, and I will be making everything around me so much brighter, and isn't that HAPPY?!  Oh...and also, I won't have to deal with that horrid smell anymore, and who wouldn't be grateful for that?!